Happy Father's Day

We had a great time this weekend for Father's Day, celebrating everything that Kurt does for this family. He is, in the plainest and simplest of terms, absolutely essential to all three of the girls for whom he so diligently cares.

Saturday we relaxed at the house, got caught up on chores and projects and had a fun evening with the kids. Sunday, we headed up to the Denver Botanic Gardens, a very beautiful place absolutely packed with fun little paths and garden nooks for the girls to run around in. The weather was probably the hottest it's been this year yet, but we had a great time despite the heavenly rays. Pictures will be, of course, forth-coming (once I snag them off Kurt's camera, which will be after I snag Kurt's camera in the first place.)

Happy Father's Day to all daddy's everywhere!

Queen of the One-liner's

One afternoon, when I had just arrived home from a busy weekend morning, Anna was crawling all over me while Kurt played with Silvia on our bed. Finally, I gave Kurt the look and he said, "Ok, girls, let's go downstairs and play, Mommy needs to take a shower."

Anna, looking me up and down: "You're going to take a shower, mama?"

Me: "Yes, sweetie, I won't be very long, I'll be downstairs in just a little bit."

Anna: "Okay, mama. Take off all your clothes and have a nice time!"

Oh, boy. I'm so not looking forward to the high school years.

Pictures from Mother's Day and other fun stuff

In memory of breastfeeding

http://www.weirdasianews.com/2008/04/19/fake-food-a-babys-perspective/

This had me rolling on the floor. Man, that poor kid looks so hopeful! My breastfeeding days are over, but this still tugs at the heart (and pokes hard at the funny bone).

Words to live by

This weekend, we had dinner over at a friend's house. They have a two children about the same age as Anna and Silvia. Their oldest, Ella, is reknowned in Anna's heart as the Keeper of the Fabulous Dress-Up Closet. Whenever we get together, that's Anna's first goal, to dive in and dress like a princess.

Anna had been babbling in the back of the car for 20 minutes about how excited she was to see Ella and dress up and what exactly she was going to wear. As we pulled into the drive way, she could see Ella waiting for us at the front door, waving.

Anna's excitement bubbled over and she bounced in her seat with glee and yelled, "First, we say hello! THEN we take out clothes off!"

Happy Mother's Day

"The moment a child is born, the mother is also born. She never existed before. The woman existed, but the mother, never. A mother is something absolutely new.”

-Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh-

Instead of a day off, a day of relaxation, pampering and indulgence, today I have a new definition of this moment of celebration. Today I get to enjoy my girls, delight in their need of me and revel in my undeniable necessity to this family. Regardless of any darkness in between, I am still the mommy, I am loved and essential. That is my real Mother's Day gift. Thanks!

Oh my pretty Anna

This little clip is from last summer, but I was just browsing through and thought it was too darn cute not to share. Enjoy!

We'll miss you, Uncle Dick

Love and hugs to Aunt Juanita, Vicki, Cari, Liz, Cathy and all the kids. Wish we could be there with you right now.

Silvia's First School Day

Isn't it funny that we call daycare "school" now? Not even preschool, either. Just school, as if my one year old is going to be returned to me with a bag of homework and spouting algebra. Ah, well. It's a euphemism that makes me feel better about sending her into someone else's care for a bit. So I'll take it.

As of this week, we've got both girls enrolled at a local Lutheran preschool and childcare center every weekday morning. It's only half-day, but for me... It's a whole half day! Woohoo! I've been a bit stressed out lately so Kurt and I decided that a bit of a break was in order to keep the family in harmony.

Silvia did great for her first day. She gets dropped off in the same room as Anna, so the two of them were happily playing with no tears at the moment of parental departure. I called to check on her once that morning and they said she had been crying on and off but in between seemed to be pretty happy and having fun with all the new toys and entertainment. Oh, finger painting, how we love thee! (And how I love thine mess that is NOT in my house!)

Today is Day Two, so we'll see if she's caught on yet, but as my mom says, one week is a lifetime to a baby her age. Hopefully by next Monday she'll be totally acclimated to the new thrilling routine. The best part for me, while the free time is nice, is that I get to really enjoy being with my kids again in the afternoon. There's nothing like getting a chance to MISS them for a bit. Plus, Silvia comes home wiped out from all the playing, so she takes a nap right away. While she sleeps, I get one-on-one time with Anna, then vise versa with Silvia while Anna naps later on.

It's a breath of fresh air to start the summer off right, and I'm thankful that we are able to take such care with out kids. And with their mommy.

Just heard...

Anna: Daddy, you need to do me a favor.

Mom: Daddy's busy, what do you need?

Anna: Umm... no. I think Daddy needs to do me a favor!

Dad: What favor can I do for you, sweetie?

Anna: Clean up!

*raucous parental laughter*

Dad, (gasping): Hmm... what do you need me to clean up? Your face? Your fingers?

Anna: No! (pointing to living room full of toys) Clean up that room!

Oh, my... we tried to explain the meaning of "favor", but I think we were laughing to hard to make any sense.

New pictures up!

http://picasaweb.google.com/schwartzmeg/Spring08

I've finally gotten around to posting some pictures, more stories and updates to come. Wanna hear about the black-eye and the chipped tooth? heheeee... These poor kids, strangers are starting to look at them sympathetically...

What they don't know

I don't know how it happened, but somehow I have become the mother of two little girls who do not eat; not with any definable regularity, that is. If pickiness were a kingdom, they would be the reigning princesses. Anna's favorite new phrase at dinner time is, "No, Mama, I can't really try it. I just can't."

So, I've had to get sneaky in my attempts to get any kind of food and/or nutrition into my offspring. Either that, or dive into a new hobby of counting the girls' ribs.

One surefire trick I've discovered? Breakfast. For some reason, I have the most luck feeding the Picky Twins at their first meal. I've learned to take advantage of this phenomenon, while it lasts. Since they'll almost always eat oatmeal, I have started cooking 4-6 egg whites into their morning bowl (I just buy the big carton of pasteurized whites), then serving it topped with berries, bananas or raisins and a dash of brown sugar. I'm also prone to sprinkling teaspoons of ground flax seed onto just about everything for a little boost of Omega-3.

(I know, Mom, it sounds gross. I can see your face from here. But it's actually very tasty, doesn't ruin the oatmeal, and, unbeknownst to my victims... err, I mean children, adds gobs of protein to keep them from wasting away.)

Since lunch and dinner are almost always no-go meals for these two, I have heaped up the snacks with whatever extras I can manage. Anna's favorite, and one that she thinks is a fabulous treat, is apple sandwiches with peanut butter. That's just thinly sliced apples instead of crackers, friends. All you have to do is give her a spreading knife and she'll go to town, just loving the idea that she "did it by herself".

Rainbow sprinkles are also magic in our kitchen, a trick shown to me by cousin Lizzie. Anna won't eat her yogurt? How about some sprinkles, sweetie? Heck, we've even added sprinkles to her spaghetti, come to think of it. Whatever works.

Speaking of spaghetti, I also do my best to make this staple food a little bit more nutritionally viable. By using pureed veggies, a la Deceptively Delicious, and whole grain pasta, I feel a little bit better about the quality of their general diet.

And when all else fails? Chocolate milk with Ovaltine has never been turned down. Sometimes it's the only thing Anna or Silvia consumes all day, it seems. Ovaltine, how I love thee.

Kids Understand Each Other

At a playdate a few weeks ago, I overheard this conversation between Anna and her friend Elijah. Anna had just gotten over a big of a stomach bug. The two kids were standing side-by-side on top of the toy box, preparing to jump off together.

Elijah, patting her arm: "I'm sorry you were sick, Anna."
Anna, nodding: "Yeah, but I won't barf on you, Elijah."
Elijah: "Okay."

Having settled matters, they grinned, held hands and ... JUMPED!

13 months

This is the month for Silvia, I can tell. It seems like right around every baby's first year there's one month in particular where they suddenly stop being an infant and become... something else. A big baby? A small toddler? A... *gulp*... child?

As of today, Silvia can walk, talk, sleep through the night, express her desires, use at least 3 ASL signs, kiss, hug and change her own diapers.

Okay, maybe not that last one. But everything else is right on the ball.

She started fully walking after Christmas and never crawls anymore. She runs about, sometimes falls, let's out a big, "Uh-oh!", and gets right back up again.

The talking started more recently, probably around her birthday. So far, she clearly and correctly says: Hi, Dada, Mama, Anna, cat, shoes, toes, juice, more, "all done", up, down and "what's that?". Silvia also points to her own nose, eyes, ears, toes and belly button when asked, which is cuter than you can even imagine such antics could be.

What amazes me more than any of her new tricks, really, is her understanding. She just seems to have comprehension all of a sudden that is so clear and accurate. When I tell her to eat, or to hand me something, or ask what she wants to drink, or to put something down, she understands and reacts. She points at pictures in books and and knows when it's a cat or a dog or a baby... or a shoe. (all the important things in life, right?) At night, I tell her it's bed time and she waves bye-bye, grabs her juice or a toy and heads upstairs, all on her own.

I blinked, I must have blinked. Because I swear, last time I really looked, wasn't she just an itty bitty little thing, rolling around on the floor and drooling on her toes?

See something similar?

Sometimes I can't see it at all, but really, these girls do look a lot alike. That's Anna in the top picture, on her 1st birthday and Silvia in the next, on hers. Or maybe the similarity is just from the cupcakes obscuring half their faces?

The effects of grandchildren

Big Day for Anna

Today, Anna grew up in one huge leap: she willingly gave away her last pacifier.

Anna has had a pacifier obsession that started when she was just a few days old. I remember that, at the time, as a new and naive mom I was determined not to allow her to have a pacifier. I had heard all this horrible stuff about them, how they could confuse a breastfed baby and create an oral fixation and ruin your child's teeth.

And then I brought home Anna from the hospital and she cried. And cried. And then, there was more crying. She slept fitfully at night, waking constantly and nursing until I was raw. And crying, crying, crying.

The second night home, at about 2 o'clock in the morning, I sat and cried with her at the side of my bed. Then I sent Kurt to dig through the bag of leftover stuff from the baby shower and find the package of pacifiers that I had meant to return, (Thank you so much, Renee!!!).

We popped it in, and she fell asleep. It was true love. I slept more easily that night, my hand lightly propped against her mouth to hold the peacemaker, the pacifier, in. Oddly enough, it turns out that most babies have oral fixations anyway and I figured she'd grow a new set of teeth when she was 5 anyway, right? And we already knew she was an avid nursling, so... Hurrah! I was an instant convert to the paci-supporters.

That was more than three years ago. Since then, Anna has weaned down to just using her pacifier (her "binky") at nap and bed times. She used to always have two or three in bed, so she could hold one and suck at one at the same time, but in the last year she has only had one.

For several weeks now I've been telling Anna that it's about time to say bye to the binky. We decided that she could mail her pacifiers to the Binky Fairy. I had heard this idea from several sources and it seemed to have a high success rate, so it's what we went with. I suppose I could have just taken it from her outright and told her to deal with it. But why not try and make it a positive experience for her, just as having her binky these few years was positive, too?

So today she, all by herself, put all her old binkies that we could find, from under chairs and behind books, into an envelope and closed it with tape. We walked it out to the mail box to send the package to the Binky Fairy. As she put it in the mailbox, she said, "Bye bye, binkies! No more binkies for sleeping now, it's just a mouth." She was cheerful and relaxed about it, which made me feel better about taking away her special comfort. She went to bed easily and is now peacefully asleep, with "just a mouth".

In the morning, we'll go out and see what the Binky Fairy, much like her cousin the Tooth Fairy, left behind for Anna when she took away the package of pacifiers to give to some lucky baby that needs it, now that this big girl is done.

Good job, Anna! I'm so proud of you!!!

TV Makes Her Crazy

A friend asked us how the no TV situation with Anna was working out, so I thought I'd revisit that topic a bit with some surprising conclusions.

TV makes Anna bonkers. Nutso. Cuckoo.

Since turning off Little Einsteins, Wonder Pets, Backyardigans and so forth, Anna's behavior has improved dramatically. She is less whiny, she's actually listens when spoken to, she thinks about things when you ask her questions. She has also gone back to playing by herself in little imaginative scenarios with her toys; flying and swimming and rescuing and adventuring all within worlds of her own creation. She's reading more, too, rediscovering books that were getting a bit dusty and lonely in her absence.

Still, the biggest thing is that she has not been having tantrums on a regular basis like she used to, and when she does start to get upset, I am able to communicate with her through the tantrum and help her to diffuse her stress. It's an amazing change.

I wasn't sure if it was really the TV shows or just a fluke of toddlerhood, so a couple weeks ago I recorded and let her watch a Little Einsteins as a treat. Know what happened?

She was a whiny brat all day and cried the second I turned it off and argued with me and threw mini-fits all day, asking for me to turn her show back on. That pretty much decided it for me.

She still watches Baby Einstein videos a few times a week, though not every day, but those don't over-stimulate her at all. She seems to simply enjoys them the same way she enjoys listening to her music class CD's, and they are all very low-key educational in much the same way.

While Kurt was so sick I know she was watching some TV and that didn't seem to cause any problems. And while she herself was sick, I let her watch The Goodnight Show for a bit and there were also no problems there. However, I really think that something about regularly viewing of those targeted toddler shows was really scratching away at her sensitivities, leaving her raw and irritable and unable to easily process the rest of her daily life.

So, in short (ha!), TV is still out for our kids. There's occasional mild DVD viewing in the evening and certain shows as very special treats, but in general, it's just not something that was helpful to our family. I miss the easy "babysitter" sometimes, but I'm happy to trade that for a more temperate and giggling little girl.

(Now let's hope I haven't gone and just jinxed the whole phenomenon by speaking the words out loud!)

What a week!

As a family, we never do anything halfway, it seems. Nope, if we're going to get sick, then we realllllly get sick, no beating around the bush with the sniffles.

Last Monday Kurt came down with a bad case of salmonella poisoning, followed a few days later by pneumonia. We spent Friday in the ER after am ambulance came for him since he was too weak and feverish to get to the car himself. They released him late that evening, and then after a feverish and horrible night, his doctor had him re-admitted Saturday morning, at which point he was ALSO diagnosed with influenza. Poor Kurt!

Then on Sunday, Anna, who had been running a fever for a few days, spiked up to 105.5 degrees and we had to rush her in to the ER, too. I took her to the same hospital that Kurt was at, I figured it was best to have all my loved ones consolidated, you know? Turns out she was in the early stages of pneumonia, too, and had a raging double ear infection. They dosed her up with super-powered antibiotics and sent her home when the fever broke.

And now it's Wednesday, and everything is starting to get back to normal. Anna has been totally fine since we started the antibiotics and Kurt came home from the hospital Monday evening. He's still on oxygen since his poor lungs have just been thrashed about and need time to recover. But today he woke up and showered and put on real clothes and is working a bit from home and generally starting to get his energy back.

On top of all that, my sister-in-law, Monica has been battling a bad case of the flu, too, all while worrying about Kurt and Anna and taking all my panicky phone calls and keeping me steady. As of yesterday, she's lost her voice but is starting to feel much better, too.

And not to be forgotten in all the hubbub, Silvia had her 1st birthday yesterday!! She's 1! We had a small cake for her and she devoured her slice like a real connoisseur and tried to grab her candle with both hands. We'll do more of a celebration when everyone is feeling better.

And me? How's the momma? Better, definitely better. Anna is at preschool today and I'm catching up on the piles of laundry and e-mail and, thank goodness, our WONDERFUL house cleaner will be coming tomorrow to help me get everything back on track. And my friends, my friends, my friends. There are none better, I have to say. They totally jumped up, moved in and took care of everything so that I could focus on my family. Thank you! Mom and Terry, of course of course, have been amazing. Terry is going to watch Anna tomorrow, which happens to be Kurt's birthday, so hopefully I'll be able to throw together a low-key celebration.

I am so glad that everyone is getting better! We are going to aspire to no more trips to the ER for the rest of the year.

Memorial

Kurt, the girls and I would like to send out some comforting thoughts and deep sympathy to the family of Don Harlow, an old and dear friend of our family. Among other things, he and his wife, Angie, were probably my parents' first couple-with-kids friends from before I was born. My brothers, Val and John, used to play with their two oldest children, Gwen and Sybil. I have remained in casual contact with Don and his youngest daughter, Esther, on and off for years. Their family is always warmly remembered.

He passed away this past weekend after a long illness, was a wonderful man and will be missed.

If you knew him or would like to sign the guestbook for his wife, click here.

Frankenstein's Baby

From yesterday to today, Silvia has transformed from a crawling baby who takes a few steps sometimes to a walking toddler who occasionally crawls.

She walks, oh yes, she walks. With knees stiff and locked, she lurches forward, eyes bright, mouth hanging open in excited concentration. Her arms extend forward and high, reaching out, hands clawed and grasping. Guttural sounds issue from her throat as she approaches her goal. She is...

Frankenstein's Baby. She's alive! ALIVE!!!

Kiss Kiss

Silvia gives kisses. It's pretty much the cutest thing ever this week. We were all sitting on the floor playing this morning. Kurt and Silvia were cuddling and he said to her, "Can I have a kiss?" and she looked right at him, smiled and leaned in to his cheek with her lips parted making a little, "Aaah" noise. Adorable!

We thought it was just a fluke, but then I held her and asked for a kiss and she did the same thing!

She also says the baby version of, "All done!" when she's ready to get out of her high chair. She'll raise both hands, palms up and shrug, then say, "Aaaaa-daaa".

And the walking? The walking is, literally, on the move. She's taking several steps at a time now, all through the day, just because she can.

She'll be 1 in about 2 weeks, I'm not sure how it happened, but I think, I hope, we're ready.

Bye-bye, TV

Well, I finally totally lost it with Anna's TV obsession yesterday, and it's now off. OFF. I'm not sure what is going to have to happen for me to turn it back on.

She's gotten so whiny and demanding and rude about it, always demanding her shows, freaking out every single time that I turn it off, always insisting on more. And it's creepy, too, she'll just lay there on the couch all zoned out, like her brain has left the building. Freaks me out.

We weren't allowing her to even watching that much, maybe 3 shows throughout the day, that's it. But all day every day has been turning into a big struggle about the television; when was she going to get to watch, what did she have to do in order to watch, how long could she get us to let her watch, a tantrum if anyone ever so much as talked about watching something that wasn't her kid show. Ick. The whole situation was making every day into a long TV-whine-fest.

Last night I had turned on a half-hour show so I could make dinner and when it was over, I went to turn it off. Anna flipped out, yelling at me, "NO! You DO NOT turn it off! It's MINE! NONONO! You HAVE TO turn on my show!", and I totally lost it. I dragged her into time out, yelled at her, and then put myself in time out because I was so fed up and angry.
After I came downstairs again, Kurt was feeding the girls dinner.

And Anna was wolfing down her chicken because... Kurt told her she could watch a show after she finished all her dinner! (In his defense, he didn't know what the blow-up had been about...)

That was it for me. I said, "Sorry, no more shows. If she doesn't want to eat, then she doesn't have to eat, but there will be NO MORE SHOWS for the foreseeable future." Of course Anna completely went into hysterics. I cuddled her on my lap for a bit until she started to calm down, but I did not change my mind.

While I was putting her to bed, she was very sweet. We read nursery rhymes and rocked in the chair and then when she was calm, I talked to her about her behavior. I told her that whining and screaming and crying to get things is not polite and only upsets me. I said she has to use real words when she wants something and we went over the manners that she knows how to use. I told her that I will only be able to help her when she can calm herself down and use real words and manners to talk to me.

Anna really seemed to be listening and said, "Yes, momma, I'm sorry I was yelling, I know how to have good manners. I love you." I know that she probably forgot that as soon as she said it, but it was still so sweet!

So that was it for me. The only way to get through to her is to turn off the over-stimulating-mind-numbing television. I know she's also learned a lot of good things from her shows, but the negatives are totally outweighing the positives right now. Kurt and I talked about it and we've just decided that as long as the kids are awake, the TV will be off. Period. I even deleted her shows off Tivo this morning before she got out of bed. It's just not worth it right now.

This morning, we got up and she listed everything she wanted to watch as we walked downstairs, like she always does. And I said, "Sorry, Anna, the TV is broken and there will be no shows today. But we have lots of toys and music and stories, what would you like to do instead?". She pouted for a minute, then asked for her Kindermusik CD and has been dancing and playing all morning. Truly, those music class CD's are a lifesaver! She never gets tired of them, they're nice to listen to, even for me, and she dances and sings and really "interacts" with the music, which I love to see.

She has also been reading her stories and going through all her books that she hasn't been interested in for a long time. She's finally, a few weeks late, discovered the wonderful books she got for Christmas (Thank you, LisaLisa!). We've done some coloring and crafts, but she's also rediscovering playing by herself, which she used to love to do all the time.

And no whining, no fits, no tantrums. No demanding, rude, obnoxious little girl. While television is a nice distraction from time to time and certainly buys me a bit of peace during the day, it seems to be too closely tied to her bad behavior.

The trade-off is completely worth it for me!

The second child gets the short end of the stick

I'm looking all around and I absolutely cannot find anywhere the date of Silvia's first steps! Does anyone remember? It was December, I remember the MOMENT, but I didn't write it down. There's so much that I wrote down for Anna, every little thing. But Silvia? Nope. Poor kid, she's getting cheated, her baby book is going to be empty at this rate. Well, that is, if I ever get around to working on her baby book.

Silvia turns 1 next month. An entire year of special and wonderful first moments- that I haven't really tried very hard to preserve. Poor kid.

SO. Mom? Terry? Kurt? Anyone remember the date of Silvia's first steps? And maybe the date when her first tooth came in, too? Or when I gave her the first solid foods? Or when she started standing on her own?

Sheesh. See, this is why I'm not having any more kids. I can barely keep up with the two that I've got!

UPDATE:

Okay, I've gone back through the blog and my e-mails and I've just about dislocated my brain trying to remember, but I think I've done it. All Silvia's big first moments have been accounted for and recorded in her baby book, thank you very much. Maybe it's a silly thing to worry about, but Anna's book is so nice I don't want Silvia to look back at her own 10 years or more from now and think, "Gee, mine's all...empty. Thanks, Mom."

I know, I know, I'm crazy. I'm combating future guilt, I think that makes me certifiable. So be it.

Two girls, not so little anymore!

5 steps!

Okay, this is proof to me that Silvia really NEEDED special mommy-time all to herself.

She's been taking a step here and there for several weeks, actually took her first step just before Christmas (I think... sheesh, so sad that I don't know for sure!). But as far as walking goes, she just hasn't shown any interest, prefers to crawl all about and cruise along on the furniture.

But just now, we were sitting and playing in the living room and I stood her up, she gave me a big smile and walked towards me. She took 5 steps without falling and then gave me a big hug! Go, Silvia!

Anna's 1st Day of Preschool

Wow. Can it be? This is the end of a beginning, it feels like.

Anna started preschool this morning at a Lutheran Child Care Center about 5 minutes from our front door. It's a very nice school and she is in a small class with less than 10 other 3-4 year olds. She'll be going every three days a week from 8-12:30, which marks the longest time we've ever left her with strangers.

The transition this morning did not go well, but I wasn't really expecting it to. Anna has always been a very sensitive and high-strung kid, so to think that she'd skip off to play with a shed tear would have been nuts.

She cried. She screamed. I sat with her in the classroom for about 5 minutes and pointed out all the neat things and the other children gathered around to see what all the fuss was about. Then I stood up and her teacher, Miss Sarah, pried her off of me as she screamed, "Nononononono!" and then I headed for the door.

I admit completely that I was in tears myself by the time I made it to the hallway. It is really, really hard to see your kid desperate and terrified and wanting just YOU and have to walk away. But I did it.

As I got to my car I looked up and Anna was at the window, holding a toy pinwheel and in the arms of the teacher. She was waving bye-bye to me, so I smiled and waved and pretended that I was not about to completely lose it.

I really think this will be great for her. She is a very bright little girl and she's been getting bored with our standard daily routine, especially since it's cold and we can't get outside as much. I also think that having to work out disputes with other kids her age under a neutral and objective authority figure will be VERY good for her. And it'll be fun and challenging and educational and really set her on the right path for starting school in a few years.

I'm also looking forward to the quality time I'll get to have alone with Silvia while Anna is in school, that'll be really nice to be able to just give her some focused attention for once! And then I'll blink, and Silvia will be starting preschool and I'll be at loose ends and...

then what?

Finally! Pictures from Auntie Mo's Christmas

http://picasaweb.google.com/schwartzmeg/ChristmasInMaryland2007

Happy Birthday, Uncle Val!

http://picasaweb.google.com/schwartzmeg/HappyBirthdayUncleVal

You'll notice at the end of the video clip, Anna says, "NOW I can have a candy cane!" Bribery is a beautiful thing.

Happy birthday, brother of mine, hope it's the best yet. *HUG*