Happy Birthday Ryan!

From 2008_12_19

Hold still for the camera!

2nd Christmas

Anna keeps asking for her second Christmas. While Kurt's family was visiting this past weekend, we had a great mini-Christmas for the three kids- Ryan, Anna and Silvia. They each got a few presents and we adults were able to sit back and just enjoy the delight and excitement that only young children seem to glow with on that most-anticipated of holidays.

Opa took them all up to the playroom so that Santa could come with their goodies and then they came boiling down the stairs, running straight for the tree. Silvia's reaction was my favorite. She simply walked up, grabbed the nearest package to hand and brought it to me, ordering firmly, "OPEN IT, Mama. OPEN." It was for Ryan, but that didn't seem to slow her down at all.

At some point, we must have said that this was the 1st Christmas so we could celebrate with our family. Now Anna is very confused and adamant that it is now time for the 2nd Christmas. She comes home from school-"Is it 2nd Christmas yet"? Or the same after dinner every night, after any brief naps she might condescend to take. "Is it? Now?"

I sure hope we don't have to expect a 3rd or 4th Christmas after the 25th.

Broken Glass

The other day, as Silvia and Anna were chasing each other like puppies through the house, Anna bumped into a table and knocked a glass vase onto the floor where it shattered in a spray of shards. I think the average adult's response to this is to step away and find a careful way of cleaning it up. Anna is neither average or an adult.

By the time I got to the scene, she had reached down and scooped up a handful of pieces and was holding them out to me in supplication. "Mommy, I broke the vase! Here!"

And me? I instinctively reached out and took the handful of glass into my own bare hands. Ouch.

We both ended up with small cuts along our palms and it could have been much worse. Best of all, I got to add to that list of things, either too obvious or too bizarre, you never think you'll say- "Never pick up broken glass! Wait for mommy and daddy, ok?"

Beds

I've had a list sitting on my desk for weeks. I jot down things that I mean to post here. That list has been growing... and growing.... and growing. Time to do some catching up.

First off, for Anna's birthday we moved her to a grown-up bed. She had reached the point where her feet were bumping and into the bottom of her toddler bed and her hands would get tangled in the sideboard every night. She'd end up sleeping curled in a ball or with half her limbs hanging off the mattress.

Now she has a big queen size bed where she looks about as small as a stuffed animal , swimming in all that space. We considered buying her a smaller mattress, but figured we'd just use what we already had lying around. (hehee... sorry for the pun) While she loves her new big bed, we still struggle with her new tendency to come into our room in the middle of the night. First we put a sleeping bag down on the floor to keep her out of her bed, but she started sneaking into it about two seconds after we'd put her to bed in her own room.

Our solution resulted in a night practically out of a Pink Panther movie, there was so much traveling back and forth between bedrooms. She'd sneak in, I'd walk her back and put her in her bed. She'd sneak back in about 10 minutes, and so on and so on. After a few nights of that she started to settle, but it's still going on at least once a night. As cute as she is, there is something inherently creepy to wake up in the middle of the night to a silent, though small, figure standing directly over your head in the darkness.

Snow White and Prince Charming

My hair is falling out...

because I am pulling it!

My four-year-old daughter was feeling playful today. She was so inspired, in fact, that she ran upstairs, poked her head into the baby's room and screamed, "BOO!", at her sister.

Who is one. Who was barely 45 minutes into her two hour afternoon nap. Who refused to go back to sleep. Who has six different levels of hysterics that she was kind enough to display for the rest of the afternoon. (Insert hair pulling here).

And then? THEN? Anna comes up to me and says, "Mama, Silvia needs to be quiet and stop crying. You should go put her down." Seriously?!

In case you're wondering (and if you are a mom, I know you are), no, I did not break any laws today. I was tempted, but with great strength of will and a little help from my friend Advil, I restrained myself.

Snow

Snow on the mountain, snow white, snow sisters, snow hats and mittens, snow boots, snow jacket. All that's missing? Snow.

Aquarium

"Anna, what was your favorite part of the aquarium?"

Pause for deep thought and then...

"I liked the fishes."

An Historic Night

This truly is a time of change and I'm overwhelmed with hope that no longer feels so audacious. I have now lived to see a time for my children where everyone really can grow up to be president.

Let's Play Hugs!

One of the girls' newest and cutest games ins "hugs". They chase each other around the house hugging and tumbling left and right.

halloween, car wash and birthday fun

Pictures of the girls at their silly best. Happy birthday, Anna and Auntie Mo!

swings and wiggleworms

Why we buy washable markers

Can you tell she's a lefty?

Kurt's famous squash risotto with sage

He was so proud, I decided to immortalize the moment with an action shot. It's as tasty as it looks, my friends! YUM!

She is SO playing us

Silvia's tiny, plump little hands have been weaving a subtle spell lately. That child is NOT a baby anymore. Kurt and I have sort of been parenting her on auto-pilot, not holding her responsible, not forcing confrontations, challenges or expectations. But yesterday, that "little tiny baby who doesn't understand" somehow ended up eating strawberry shortcake for dinner. Strawberry-sugar-processed-completely-void-of nutritional-value shortcake. How could that happen, you ask?

Here it is. We went out to the salad bar place we like. It's very kid friendly and has loads of options for our picky eaters. Anna had mac n' cheese with a large helping of fruit on the side. Silvia cried and shook her head and wriggled to climb out of her high chair and tried to throw everything we offered her.

So, rolling our eyes and not even thinking about it, we handed her a bowl of dessert and a bread stick. You know, to settle her. As we were getting ready to leave, she started fussing again, this time for chocolate milk, whining that she was messy and then not letting me clean her up. Kurt and I looked at each other. It was an epiphanic parental moment. You could practically hear the boot of reality kicking us upside the head.

Re-read that previous sentence about all the things Silvia was saying and doing. Saying and doing implies communication and understanding. Oh, that's no baby, my friends. That's a toddler with very well duped parents. She knows exactly what she's doing.

I picked her up, plopped her on the floor, staring into the distance just past her head as I wiped off her protesting little face and hands. Then I frog-marched her out the door, ignoring the constant whine for something, anything, on the ride home. Guess what? Slowly, with a tone of confusion, she got quieter and spaced her demands out more and more.

"I think maybe we need to turn up the toddler discipline," Kurt said on our evening walk. "She's not really an innocent baby anymore." Silvia reached over and smacked Anna, giggling. Anna screamed and reached over and pulled her hair. Then the whine for chocolate milk picked up from both sides.

"I think we need to plop her in a separate room and walk away every time she makes a noise above a certain decibel level," I said.

Staring at each other over their heads, we finally identified that heavy weight that has been pulling down against our shoulders. It is not gravity, friends and neighbors. It's the passage of time. The next stage is not tomorrow, it's here right now. And it's shrieking.

Never fear. We've done this before, it just took us a little longer to catch on the second time around, blinded as we have been by the age difference between the two girls. We're on the offensive now. Mommy and Daddy can play this game, too. Failure is not an option. So forget the shortcake and open wide, sweetie pie. You're about to get a mouthful of consequences... and broccoli.

Velveteen Rabbit Syndrome

Every couple months I get all revved up to clean out the toys- gather up the little odds and ends that accumulate from who knows where, toss what's broken, and send anything obsolete to Goodwill.

But the stuffed animals? I have trouble with the stuffed animals. We have several, lots, one might even say quite a few. Even between the two girls, they only play with a select group and I know there are some forgotten stuffed friends that need to move on to another destination. But...

I look at their little embroidered faces with their little button eyes and I just can't let go. I don't really believe that they come to life when we're not looking or that they have their own little personalities. I know it's silly. Still, I just can't help myself from wanting to give them a chance.

Poor little things. They just want to be loved. They just want to be real.

"What is REAL?" asked the Rabbit one day, when they were lying side by side
near the nursery fender, before Nana came to tidy the room. "Does it mean
having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?"

"Real isn't how you are made," said the Skin Horse. "It's a thing
that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not
just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real."

"Does it hurt?" asked the Rabbit.

"Sometimes," said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful.
"When you are Real you don't mind being hurt."

"Does it happen all at once, like being wound up," he asked, "or bit by
bit?"

"It doesn't happen all at once," said the Skin Horse. "You
become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't happen often to
people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully
kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been
loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in your joints and very
shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real
you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand."

Excerpt from "The Velveteen Rabbit", by Margery Williams

A happy memory to brighten a sad day

Click Here: "I'm a walker now, y'all! Watch out!"

pictures! 'bout time, right?

Finally remembered to post some cuteness, hope you enjoy!

First bee sting, hopefully LAST bee sting

Poor Silvia. While playing outside at my mom's house yesterday, she decided she wanted to go back in and we headed up the steps to the side porch. What I didn't realize was that the porch was full of bees that were not happy to have us walk right into their new territory.

They angrily swarmed right at my head level, several tangling in my hair. I eeked and jumped back, hitting at my hair- and, like a total idiot, left my baby standing right under the buzzing cloud. As I headed quickly back to grab her, they descended and several settled on her head, one stinging her right on her ear.

She shrieked and grabbed at it just as I swept her off the porch and swiped the other bees away from her. We ran from the furious swirling mass, quickly moving away and inside using the BACK door. We had come out that way and I felt like a moron for trying get back in another way. Ah, maternal guilt, how well I know thee.

Silvia's ear doubled and tripled in size in just a few moments, throbbing a painful red as she wailed and squirmed. Thankfully, she didn't show any signs of an allergic reaction, though we gave her some Benadryl just in case. She calmed down after a bit sucking her thumb and then asking for some chips.

God bless Frito's.

Locked in or trapped out?

Anna knows how to open doors. She knows how to close doors. And as of this week, she knows how to lock doors. The trick here is that she hasn't figured out how to unlock them. Following several spectacular and Oscar-worthy tantrums one day, I sent her to her room to cool down. Silvia and I settled in the front yard to wait, playing with rocks and barking back at the neighbor's dog. You know, the usual. After the allotted time, I scooped up my littlest and headed back up the porch to reclaim her impressive sister.

The sister who we found looking in the window next to the door, face pressed to the glass, Joey the Bunny clasped tightly in her hands, serious expression on her face. "Come in, Mama," she said through the glass. I clasped the door knob, exasperation sinking in my stomach. The door refused to cooperate.

"Anna, were you playing with the lock? Turn the lock, honey. Go put it back like it was. Turn the lock, ok?" Her serious expression turning to grief, she fumbled at the door and the burst into hysterics, falling down on the carpet and gasping between cries, "Come IN, mama!"

Oh, dear. Instantly sympathetic, I tried to calm her down through the glass while Silvia watched, waving cheerily at her sister and repeating her favorite words, "Anna sad. Anna sad, mama."

Thinking quickly, (or actually, thinking without a clue), I called Anna over to the back door windows, which were open. Here we could touch hands through the screen, which I discovered where very sturdily installed. This would have been a comfort to learn at another time, but had me cursing under my breath at that moment. After I had her calmed down, I told her to wait for me at the window and ran across the street, knocking on doors for a phone.

Thankfully, one neighbor works from home. I quickly called the Bearer of the Spare Key, who headed over with this magical object. Running back to Anna, all this time with Silvia in tow, I kept her entertained at the window.

Briefly calm, she smiled and announced, "Mama, I'll let you in! Let me get Silvia's keys!". She picked up the plastic rainbow keys and desperately hit them at the front lock. I was trying not to laugh but then she burst into another bout of hysterics when her scheme failed.

And then, Murphy's Law in full swing, she fell and hurt herself as I watched helplessly, calling out comfort as well as I could. Poor baby. Eventually, I talked her in to waiting on the couch. After that, Anna declined to meet me at the window anymore, instead reading her workbook, cuddled into the couch pillows, a bookworm in her element.

After the door was finally opened by Terry, Anna calmly told me not to trap myself outside again, with an air of responsibility-free condescension. Note to self: give spare key to neighbor.

Anna is a velociraptor

Remember that scene from Jurassic Park? The one where the raptors are in their cage, throwing themselves at the electric fence in search of weakness?

That's Anna right now. I kid you not. That child is testing her boundaries like nobody's business. Back-talk, rudeness, defiance, tantrums, pushing/tackling Silvia while pretending she's just "playing". Heaven help me, I'm about to lock her up. Or even better, lock myself up- with a good book and cup of hot cocoa. And earplugs.

Kurt and I are seriously struggling to keep our tempers in check, trying to either simply ignore the obnoxious attitude or respond calmly and promptly to the rude behavior. We know she responds better, and calms down quicker, when we are calm.

But calm is a distant place, a happy island of sunshine and clear blue water. A place far, far from our living room and perpetually OUT OF REACH. I spend much of the day fighting the urge to scream my head off. Which I can report from personal experience, doesn't work at all.

We love that little angel, but if she gives me any more diva-tude this week, I'm going to lose my mind. And my cool. And probably all my hair.

Rite of Passage- Again

As soon as you open the door to your child's room, you know. I mean, you really KNOW. It's the smell. Waking up to a baby (and crib, stuffed animals, mattress, walls, etc) covered in, well... POOP is one of the least fun rites of passage for any parent.

The bad news, as if that wasn't bad enough, is that it renews for EACH CHILD.

This morning, I found Silvia standing in her crib, hands raised in the classic, "Uh-oh" gesture, looking at me. "Poo-poo?", she asked, clearly a bit puzzled. Then, with a wide grin, so utterly charming except for the yuck all over her, "Uh-oh, mess." Ha. That's for damn sure.

I plopped her in the tub, which now has to be scrubbed with bleach during precious nap time hours. Holding my breath the entire time, I sent Anna down to raid the pantry while I cleaned... and soaped... and scrubbed. As I combed out her hair while trying not to actually look, I was visited by a vivid and nearly identical memory: the morning thrill of discovery with Anna in that very same crib and state of quizzical filth.

I know everyone says their babyhood passes too quickly, but these moments are ones I am happy to (hopefully) leave behind. No put intended.

What day is it?

"Mama, is it Tuesday? Daddy stays home on Saturday and Sunday, is it Saturday and Sunday? It's Wednesday, Mama! I go to school on Wednesday with my sister!"

The days of the week are Very Important around here right now. I've been working to set up a more consistent routine and, boy howdy, has Anna latched on to it like a drowning cat. She LOVES her routine. She loves knowing, as the first light of day touches her face, what today will be.

All throughout the day, too, she reminds me of her expectations. As we walk out of her classroom at school, she says, "Today is Monday, Mom. Now we go home and Cici takes a nap and we read a story and have a snack!"

Never before have I appreciated the full importance of a routine. Sure, I read the parenting tips, I listened to all the media mumbo-jumbo about creating a safe and certain daily path for your child to follow. Whatever. What about free spirit? What about creative boredom and adventure and fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants and leave the house without sippy cups or snacks or diapers?

Turns out, fancy-free is for people without kids. Routine is the way to go, my friends. Happy children and calm days are ALL ABOUT routine.

It's Monday. Monday, we Hula!

"What's that sound? Is it growling?"

Black squirrels. Bears. Fluffy white house cats. Cougars. Groundhogs. Porcupines. Terriers.

What do all these things have in common? Anna is now terrified of them.

This weekend, we went up to the Florrisant Fossil beds for a family adventure. The trails are relatively flat and well-kept, so it's easy for the kids to run amok. As we set off on one loop of the trail, Kurt says, (because he's all sensitive to three-year-old imaginations), "Okay, Anna! Watch out for bears!"

Anna stops. Frozen, wide-eyed, legs still bent in the step forward she was about to take.

"Bears? There are bears. Do you hear that growling, Mama? I see the bear!"

I promptly kick my husband in the butt and then tell Anna that kicking isn't nice, Mommy and Daddy are just playing. Riiiiiight.

"No, honey, Daddy is teasing, he's so silly! There are NO BEARS. It's fine, I promise."

After considering this for a moment, while I continue to reassure her as to her safety, Anna begins to slowly walk on the trail. Just as she finally starts moving again, we come across an educational photo stand that has a huge blown up picture of a black squirrel on it.

"Ooooh, Anna, look, I cute squirrel picture!", I say, trying to distract her a bit.

"NONONononono. Where is the squirrel, I don't like the squirrel! Squirrels are so big, do you hear that growling? Is it the bear?"

Oh, dear. As we made our way along the path that day, there was from knee-height an ongoing monologue of, "There aren't any bears, Mama. I'm not scared. There aren't any bears with the squirrels and I don't see any squirrels. There's just trees. I'm not scared of trees because there aren't any bears and you would tell me if there was a squirrel, okay? What is that sound? Is it growling?".

Anna has also generalized this fear to a large array of animals, big and small. At the zoo she is fascinated by the apes, the giraffes, the lions, the jaguars, the meerkats and the monkeys. She will not go near the wallabies, the birds, the cougars, the Pallas cats, or the grizzly bears. But the black bears are okay.

And Sappho? Grandma's cat of long adoration? Yeah. She was reduced to tears last time they came in close contact and needed help and support to walk around the living room where Sappho was lounging center stage.

While, most likely, this is just one of those stages kids go through (I recall being deeply terrified of our house cat as a child), I am going to take this opportunity to place all the blame on Kurt.

Okay, Anna! Watch out for bears!"

Seriously, honey?!

Bumps, bruises, and "I will turn this car around!"

Here's the tally for the week:

Road rash on nose, upper lip, mouth, chin and corner of the eye. Second chipped tooth in the front, both scraped knees and elbows. Freshly grated shin on concrete corner. Sore butt.

And that's just Anna. Silvia has a slightly black eye from I don't know what, pinched fingers from a door, bruises on each of her chins and two deep scratches on her face, one on each cheek.

I swear to you all that I am not responsible! These girls are so accident-prone I've started lunging to catch or pull them back before they even take a step. All my shirts are slightly stained on the front shoulders from cuddling the weepy, bloody and runny-nosed injured. My gratitude is enormous that, so far, there have been no broken bones.

I wait with joyful anticipation for a sense of internal balance to develop. Doesn't that gawky, awkward phase settle down in the late teens? Tell me there is hope.

4th of July

We went down to Memorial Park last night, like we do every year, to enjoy the orchestra and fireworks for the holiday. It was a lovely show and Anna was absolutely enthralled by it all, running, jumping and shrieking with joy the whole time. Silvia was a little less thrilled. As soon as the fireworks started, she went over to the stroller and started patting her seat. Kurt popped her and gave her a blanket and then she started waving and saying, "Bye-bye! All done! Bye-Bye!". That kid was ready to go! She toughed it out for the rest of the show and didn't seem to really mind all the noise, but it wasn't exactly her favorite thing, either.

On a side note, as we were walking back to the car, Kurt realized his phone had fallen off at some point in the huge field full of thousands of people. We pretty much gave it up for lost, which was disappointing since it was his fancy birthday present phone from only a few months ago. On a last ditch effort, he got up early and went back to the park to take a look. He got there to find a handful of men searching the field with metal detectors for lost change and whatnot. He asked the guy closest to where we were sitting if he'd found a phone and he handed it over! That was a nice surprise to start the day right and give us a little hope, too, for an honest humanity.

Here's some pictures from our family night.

"Why?"

Oh, man. We've reached that stage, the stage I've always laughed about with other parents, but dreaded for myself. The "Why?" stage.

Anna: "Mommy? Where are we going?"

Me: "To the grocery store."

Anna: "Why?"

Me: "Because we need milk and bread."

Anna: "Why?"

Me: "Because we ate it all up and now we need more or we'll be hungry.

Anna: "I'm not hungry. Are you hungry, mommy?"

Me: "Not right now, but I will be later."

Anna: "Why?"

It goes on and on and on and eventually I can't answer the "why's" anymore. Then she gets mad, like I've denied her some precious gift. Then it turns into, "WHYYYYYYYYY????"

Times like these, I chant the Serenity Prayer in my head until it, hopefully, starts to drown out the questions. Poor Anna. It must be hard to live with a mommy who doesn't know all the answers to all the questions in the universe.

Maybe she should try asking DADDY.

Happy Father's Day

We had a great time this weekend for Father's Day, celebrating everything that Kurt does for this family. He is, in the plainest and simplest of terms, absolutely essential to all three of the girls for whom he so diligently cares.

Saturday we relaxed at the house, got caught up on chores and projects and had a fun evening with the kids. Sunday, we headed up to the Denver Botanic Gardens, a very beautiful place absolutely packed with fun little paths and garden nooks for the girls to run around in. The weather was probably the hottest it's been this year yet, but we had a great time despite the heavenly rays. Pictures will be, of course, forth-coming (once I snag them off Kurt's camera, which will be after I snag Kurt's camera in the first place.)

Happy Father's Day to all daddy's everywhere!

Queen of the One-liner's

One afternoon, when I had just arrived home from a busy weekend morning, Anna was crawling all over me while Kurt played with Silvia on our bed. Finally, I gave Kurt the look and he said, "Ok, girls, let's go downstairs and play, Mommy needs to take a shower."

Anna, looking me up and down: "You're going to take a shower, mama?"

Me: "Yes, sweetie, I won't be very long, I'll be downstairs in just a little bit."

Anna: "Okay, mama. Take off all your clothes and have a nice time!"

Oh, boy. I'm so not looking forward to the high school years.

Pictures from Mother's Day and other fun stuff

In memory of breastfeeding

http://www.weirdasianews.com/2008/04/19/fake-food-a-babys-perspective/

This had me rolling on the floor. Man, that poor kid looks so hopeful! My breastfeeding days are over, but this still tugs at the heart (and pokes hard at the funny bone).

Words to live by

This weekend, we had dinner over at a friend's house. They have a two children about the same age as Anna and Silvia. Their oldest, Ella, is reknowned in Anna's heart as the Keeper of the Fabulous Dress-Up Closet. Whenever we get together, that's Anna's first goal, to dive in and dress like a princess.

Anna had been babbling in the back of the car for 20 minutes about how excited she was to see Ella and dress up and what exactly she was going to wear. As we pulled into the drive way, she could see Ella waiting for us at the front door, waving.

Anna's excitement bubbled over and she bounced in her seat with glee and yelled, "First, we say hello! THEN we take out clothes off!"

Happy Mother's Day

"The moment a child is born, the mother is also born. She never existed before. The woman existed, but the mother, never. A mother is something absolutely new.”

-Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh-

Instead of a day off, a day of relaxation, pampering and indulgence, today I have a new definition of this moment of celebration. Today I get to enjoy my girls, delight in their need of me and revel in my undeniable necessity to this family. Regardless of any darkness in between, I am still the mommy, I am loved and essential. That is my real Mother's Day gift. Thanks!

Oh my pretty Anna

This little clip is from last summer, but I was just browsing through and thought it was too darn cute not to share. Enjoy!

We'll miss you, Uncle Dick

Love and hugs to Aunt Juanita, Vicki, Cari, Liz, Cathy and all the kids. Wish we could be there with you right now.

Silvia's First School Day

Isn't it funny that we call daycare "school" now? Not even preschool, either. Just school, as if my one year old is going to be returned to me with a bag of homework and spouting algebra. Ah, well. It's a euphemism that makes me feel better about sending her into someone else's care for a bit. So I'll take it.

As of this week, we've got both girls enrolled at a local Lutheran preschool and childcare center every weekday morning. It's only half-day, but for me... It's a whole half day! Woohoo! I've been a bit stressed out lately so Kurt and I decided that a bit of a break was in order to keep the family in harmony.

Silvia did great for her first day. She gets dropped off in the same room as Anna, so the two of them were happily playing with no tears at the moment of parental departure. I called to check on her once that morning and they said she had been crying on and off but in between seemed to be pretty happy and having fun with all the new toys and entertainment. Oh, finger painting, how we love thee! (And how I love thine mess that is NOT in my house!)

Today is Day Two, so we'll see if she's caught on yet, but as my mom says, one week is a lifetime to a baby her age. Hopefully by next Monday she'll be totally acclimated to the new thrilling routine. The best part for me, while the free time is nice, is that I get to really enjoy being with my kids again in the afternoon. There's nothing like getting a chance to MISS them for a bit. Plus, Silvia comes home wiped out from all the playing, so she takes a nap right away. While she sleeps, I get one-on-one time with Anna, then vise versa with Silvia while Anna naps later on.

It's a breath of fresh air to start the summer off right, and I'm thankful that we are able to take such care with out kids. And with their mommy.

Just heard...

Anna: Daddy, you need to do me a favor.

Mom: Daddy's busy, what do you need?

Anna: Umm... no. I think Daddy needs to do me a favor!

Dad: What favor can I do for you, sweetie?

Anna: Clean up!

*raucous parental laughter*

Dad, (gasping): Hmm... what do you need me to clean up? Your face? Your fingers?

Anna: No! (pointing to living room full of toys) Clean up that room!

Oh, my... we tried to explain the meaning of "favor", but I think we were laughing to hard to make any sense.

New pictures up!

http://picasaweb.google.com/schwartzmeg/Spring08

I've finally gotten around to posting some pictures, more stories and updates to come. Wanna hear about the black-eye and the chipped tooth? heheeee... These poor kids, strangers are starting to look at them sympathetically...

What they don't know

I don't know how it happened, but somehow I have become the mother of two little girls who do not eat; not with any definable regularity, that is. If pickiness were a kingdom, they would be the reigning princesses. Anna's favorite new phrase at dinner time is, "No, Mama, I can't really try it. I just can't."

So, I've had to get sneaky in my attempts to get any kind of food and/or nutrition into my offspring. Either that, or dive into a new hobby of counting the girls' ribs.

One surefire trick I've discovered? Breakfast. For some reason, I have the most luck feeding the Picky Twins at their first meal. I've learned to take advantage of this phenomenon, while it lasts. Since they'll almost always eat oatmeal, I have started cooking 4-6 egg whites into their morning bowl (I just buy the big carton of pasteurized whites), then serving it topped with berries, bananas or raisins and a dash of brown sugar. I'm also prone to sprinkling teaspoons of ground flax seed onto just about everything for a little boost of Omega-3.

(I know, Mom, it sounds gross. I can see your face from here. But it's actually very tasty, doesn't ruin the oatmeal, and, unbeknownst to my victims... err, I mean children, adds gobs of protein to keep them from wasting away.)

Since lunch and dinner are almost always no-go meals for these two, I have heaped up the snacks with whatever extras I can manage. Anna's favorite, and one that she thinks is a fabulous treat, is apple sandwiches with peanut butter. That's just thinly sliced apples instead of crackers, friends. All you have to do is give her a spreading knife and she'll go to town, just loving the idea that she "did it by herself".

Rainbow sprinkles are also magic in our kitchen, a trick shown to me by cousin Lizzie. Anna won't eat her yogurt? How about some sprinkles, sweetie? Heck, we've even added sprinkles to her spaghetti, come to think of it. Whatever works.

Speaking of spaghetti, I also do my best to make this staple food a little bit more nutritionally viable. By using pureed veggies, a la Deceptively Delicious, and whole grain pasta, I feel a little bit better about the quality of their general diet.

And when all else fails? Chocolate milk with Ovaltine has never been turned down. Sometimes it's the only thing Anna or Silvia consumes all day, it seems. Ovaltine, how I love thee.

Kids Understand Each Other

At a playdate a few weeks ago, I overheard this conversation between Anna and her friend Elijah. Anna had just gotten over a big of a stomach bug. The two kids were standing side-by-side on top of the toy box, preparing to jump off together.

Elijah, patting her arm: "I'm sorry you were sick, Anna."
Anna, nodding: "Yeah, but I won't barf on you, Elijah."
Elijah: "Okay."

Having settled matters, they grinned, held hands and ... JUMPED!

13 months

This is the month for Silvia, I can tell. It seems like right around every baby's first year there's one month in particular where they suddenly stop being an infant and become... something else. A big baby? A small toddler? A... *gulp*... child?

As of today, Silvia can walk, talk, sleep through the night, express her desires, use at least 3 ASL signs, kiss, hug and change her own diapers.

Okay, maybe not that last one. But everything else is right on the ball.

She started fully walking after Christmas and never crawls anymore. She runs about, sometimes falls, let's out a big, "Uh-oh!", and gets right back up again.

The talking started more recently, probably around her birthday. So far, she clearly and correctly says: Hi, Dada, Mama, Anna, cat, shoes, toes, juice, more, "all done", up, down and "what's that?". Silvia also points to her own nose, eyes, ears, toes and belly button when asked, which is cuter than you can even imagine such antics could be.

What amazes me more than any of her new tricks, really, is her understanding. She just seems to have comprehension all of a sudden that is so clear and accurate. When I tell her to eat, or to hand me something, or ask what she wants to drink, or to put something down, she understands and reacts. She points at pictures in books and and knows when it's a cat or a dog or a baby... or a shoe. (all the important things in life, right?) At night, I tell her it's bed time and she waves bye-bye, grabs her juice or a toy and heads upstairs, all on her own.

I blinked, I must have blinked. Because I swear, last time I really looked, wasn't she just an itty bitty little thing, rolling around on the floor and drooling on her toes?

See something similar?

Sometimes I can't see it at all, but really, these girls do look a lot alike. That's Anna in the top picture, on her 1st birthday and Silvia in the next, on hers. Or maybe the similarity is just from the cupcakes obscuring half their faces?

The effects of grandchildren

Big Day for Anna

Today, Anna grew up in one huge leap: she willingly gave away her last pacifier.

Anna has had a pacifier obsession that started when she was just a few days old. I remember that, at the time, as a new and naive mom I was determined not to allow her to have a pacifier. I had heard all this horrible stuff about them, how they could confuse a breastfed baby and create an oral fixation and ruin your child's teeth.

And then I brought home Anna from the hospital and she cried. And cried. And then, there was more crying. She slept fitfully at night, waking constantly and nursing until I was raw. And crying, crying, crying.

The second night home, at about 2 o'clock in the morning, I sat and cried with her at the side of my bed. Then I sent Kurt to dig through the bag of leftover stuff from the baby shower and find the package of pacifiers that I had meant to return, (Thank you so much, Renee!!!).

We popped it in, and she fell asleep. It was true love. I slept more easily that night, my hand lightly propped against her mouth to hold the peacemaker, the pacifier, in. Oddly enough, it turns out that most babies have oral fixations anyway and I figured she'd grow a new set of teeth when she was 5 anyway, right? And we already knew she was an avid nursling, so... Hurrah! I was an instant convert to the paci-supporters.

That was more than three years ago. Since then, Anna has weaned down to just using her pacifier (her "binky") at nap and bed times. She used to always have two or three in bed, so she could hold one and suck at one at the same time, but in the last year she has only had one.

For several weeks now I've been telling Anna that it's about time to say bye to the binky. We decided that she could mail her pacifiers to the Binky Fairy. I had heard this idea from several sources and it seemed to have a high success rate, so it's what we went with. I suppose I could have just taken it from her outright and told her to deal with it. But why not try and make it a positive experience for her, just as having her binky these few years was positive, too?

So today she, all by herself, put all her old binkies that we could find, from under chairs and behind books, into an envelope and closed it with tape. We walked it out to the mail box to send the package to the Binky Fairy. As she put it in the mailbox, she said, "Bye bye, binkies! No more binkies for sleeping now, it's just a mouth." She was cheerful and relaxed about it, which made me feel better about taking away her special comfort. She went to bed easily and is now peacefully asleep, with "just a mouth".

In the morning, we'll go out and see what the Binky Fairy, much like her cousin the Tooth Fairy, left behind for Anna when she took away the package of pacifiers to give to some lucky baby that needs it, now that this big girl is done.

Good job, Anna! I'm so proud of you!!!

TV Makes Her Crazy

A friend asked us how the no TV situation with Anna was working out, so I thought I'd revisit that topic a bit with some surprising conclusions.

TV makes Anna bonkers. Nutso. Cuckoo.

Since turning off Little Einsteins, Wonder Pets, Backyardigans and so forth, Anna's behavior has improved dramatically. She is less whiny, she's actually listens when spoken to, she thinks about things when you ask her questions. She has also gone back to playing by herself in little imaginative scenarios with her toys; flying and swimming and rescuing and adventuring all within worlds of her own creation. She's reading more, too, rediscovering books that were getting a bit dusty and lonely in her absence.

Still, the biggest thing is that she has not been having tantrums on a regular basis like she used to, and when she does start to get upset, I am able to communicate with her through the tantrum and help her to diffuse her stress. It's an amazing change.

I wasn't sure if it was really the TV shows or just a fluke of toddlerhood, so a couple weeks ago I recorded and let her watch a Little Einsteins as a treat. Know what happened?

She was a whiny brat all day and cried the second I turned it off and argued with me and threw mini-fits all day, asking for me to turn her show back on. That pretty much decided it for me.

She still watches Baby Einstein videos a few times a week, though not every day, but those don't over-stimulate her at all. She seems to simply enjoys them the same way she enjoys listening to her music class CD's, and they are all very low-key educational in much the same way.

While Kurt was so sick I know she was watching some TV and that didn't seem to cause any problems. And while she herself was sick, I let her watch The Goodnight Show for a bit and there were also no problems there. However, I really think that something about regularly viewing of those targeted toddler shows was really scratching away at her sensitivities, leaving her raw and irritable and unable to easily process the rest of her daily life.

So, in short (ha!), TV is still out for our kids. There's occasional mild DVD viewing in the evening and certain shows as very special treats, but in general, it's just not something that was helpful to our family. I miss the easy "babysitter" sometimes, but I'm happy to trade that for a more temperate and giggling little girl.

(Now let's hope I haven't gone and just jinxed the whole phenomenon by speaking the words out loud!)

What a week!

As a family, we never do anything halfway, it seems. Nope, if we're going to get sick, then we realllllly get sick, no beating around the bush with the sniffles.

Last Monday Kurt came down with a bad case of salmonella poisoning, followed a few days later by pneumonia. We spent Friday in the ER after am ambulance came for him since he was too weak and feverish to get to the car himself. They released him late that evening, and then after a feverish and horrible night, his doctor had him re-admitted Saturday morning, at which point he was ALSO diagnosed with influenza. Poor Kurt!

Then on Sunday, Anna, who had been running a fever for a few days, spiked up to 105.5 degrees and we had to rush her in to the ER, too. I took her to the same hospital that Kurt was at, I figured it was best to have all my loved ones consolidated, you know? Turns out she was in the early stages of pneumonia, too, and had a raging double ear infection. They dosed her up with super-powered antibiotics and sent her home when the fever broke.

And now it's Wednesday, and everything is starting to get back to normal. Anna has been totally fine since we started the antibiotics and Kurt came home from the hospital Monday evening. He's still on oxygen since his poor lungs have just been thrashed about and need time to recover. But today he woke up and showered and put on real clothes and is working a bit from home and generally starting to get his energy back.

On top of all that, my sister-in-law, Monica has been battling a bad case of the flu, too, all while worrying about Kurt and Anna and taking all my panicky phone calls and keeping me steady. As of yesterday, she's lost her voice but is starting to feel much better, too.

And not to be forgotten in all the hubbub, Silvia had her 1st birthday yesterday!! She's 1! We had a small cake for her and she devoured her slice like a real connoisseur and tried to grab her candle with both hands. We'll do more of a celebration when everyone is feeling better.

And me? How's the momma? Better, definitely better. Anna is at preschool today and I'm catching up on the piles of laundry and e-mail and, thank goodness, our WONDERFUL house cleaner will be coming tomorrow to help me get everything back on track. And my friends, my friends, my friends. There are none better, I have to say. They totally jumped up, moved in and took care of everything so that I could focus on my family. Thank you! Mom and Terry, of course of course, have been amazing. Terry is going to watch Anna tomorrow, which happens to be Kurt's birthday, so hopefully I'll be able to throw together a low-key celebration.

I am so glad that everyone is getting better! We are going to aspire to no more trips to the ER for the rest of the year.

Memorial

Kurt, the girls and I would like to send out some comforting thoughts and deep sympathy to the family of Don Harlow, an old and dear friend of our family. Among other things, he and his wife, Angie, were probably my parents' first couple-with-kids friends from before I was born. My brothers, Val and John, used to play with their two oldest children, Gwen and Sybil. I have remained in casual contact with Don and his youngest daughter, Esther, on and off for years. Their family is always warmly remembered.

He passed away this past weekend after a long illness, was a wonderful man and will be missed.

If you knew him or would like to sign the guestbook for his wife, click here.

Frankenstein's Baby

From yesterday to today, Silvia has transformed from a crawling baby who takes a few steps sometimes to a walking toddler who occasionally crawls.

She walks, oh yes, she walks. With knees stiff and locked, she lurches forward, eyes bright, mouth hanging open in excited concentration. Her arms extend forward and high, reaching out, hands clawed and grasping. Guttural sounds issue from her throat as she approaches her goal. She is...

Frankenstein's Baby. She's alive! ALIVE!!!

Kiss Kiss

Silvia gives kisses. It's pretty much the cutest thing ever this week. We were all sitting on the floor playing this morning. Kurt and Silvia were cuddling and he said to her, "Can I have a kiss?" and she looked right at him, smiled and leaned in to his cheek with her lips parted making a little, "Aaah" noise. Adorable!

We thought it was just a fluke, but then I held her and asked for a kiss and she did the same thing!

She also says the baby version of, "All done!" when she's ready to get out of her high chair. She'll raise both hands, palms up and shrug, then say, "Aaaaa-daaa".

And the walking? The walking is, literally, on the move. She's taking several steps at a time now, all through the day, just because she can.

She'll be 1 in about 2 weeks, I'm not sure how it happened, but I think, I hope, we're ready.

Bye-bye, TV

Well, I finally totally lost it with Anna's TV obsession yesterday, and it's now off. OFF. I'm not sure what is going to have to happen for me to turn it back on.

She's gotten so whiny and demanding and rude about it, always demanding her shows, freaking out every single time that I turn it off, always insisting on more. And it's creepy, too, she'll just lay there on the couch all zoned out, like her brain has left the building. Freaks me out.

We weren't allowing her to even watching that much, maybe 3 shows throughout the day, that's it. But all day every day has been turning into a big struggle about the television; when was she going to get to watch, what did she have to do in order to watch, how long could she get us to let her watch, a tantrum if anyone ever so much as talked about watching something that wasn't her kid show. Ick. The whole situation was making every day into a long TV-whine-fest.

Last night I had turned on a half-hour show so I could make dinner and when it was over, I went to turn it off. Anna flipped out, yelling at me, "NO! You DO NOT turn it off! It's MINE! NONONO! You HAVE TO turn on my show!", and I totally lost it. I dragged her into time out, yelled at her, and then put myself in time out because I was so fed up and angry.
After I came downstairs again, Kurt was feeding the girls dinner.

And Anna was wolfing down her chicken because... Kurt told her she could watch a show after she finished all her dinner! (In his defense, he didn't know what the blow-up had been about...)

That was it for me. I said, "Sorry, no more shows. If she doesn't want to eat, then she doesn't have to eat, but there will be NO MORE SHOWS for the foreseeable future." Of course Anna completely went into hysterics. I cuddled her on my lap for a bit until she started to calm down, but I did not change my mind.

While I was putting her to bed, she was very sweet. We read nursery rhymes and rocked in the chair and then when she was calm, I talked to her about her behavior. I told her that whining and screaming and crying to get things is not polite and only upsets me. I said she has to use real words when she wants something and we went over the manners that she knows how to use. I told her that I will only be able to help her when she can calm herself down and use real words and manners to talk to me.

Anna really seemed to be listening and said, "Yes, momma, I'm sorry I was yelling, I know how to have good manners. I love you." I know that she probably forgot that as soon as she said it, but it was still so sweet!

So that was it for me. The only way to get through to her is to turn off the over-stimulating-mind-numbing television. I know she's also learned a lot of good things from her shows, but the negatives are totally outweighing the positives right now. Kurt and I talked about it and we've just decided that as long as the kids are awake, the TV will be off. Period. I even deleted her shows off Tivo this morning before she got out of bed. It's just not worth it right now.

This morning, we got up and she listed everything she wanted to watch as we walked downstairs, like she always does. And I said, "Sorry, Anna, the TV is broken and there will be no shows today. But we have lots of toys and music and stories, what would you like to do instead?". She pouted for a minute, then asked for her Kindermusik CD and has been dancing and playing all morning. Truly, those music class CD's are a lifesaver! She never gets tired of them, they're nice to listen to, even for me, and she dances and sings and really "interacts" with the music, which I love to see.

She has also been reading her stories and going through all her books that she hasn't been interested in for a long time. She's finally, a few weeks late, discovered the wonderful books she got for Christmas (Thank you, LisaLisa!). We've done some coloring and crafts, but she's also rediscovering playing by herself, which she used to love to do all the time.

And no whining, no fits, no tantrums. No demanding, rude, obnoxious little girl. While television is a nice distraction from time to time and certainly buys me a bit of peace during the day, it seems to be too closely tied to her bad behavior.

The trade-off is completely worth it for me!

The second child gets the short end of the stick

I'm looking all around and I absolutely cannot find anywhere the date of Silvia's first steps! Does anyone remember? It was December, I remember the MOMENT, but I didn't write it down. There's so much that I wrote down for Anna, every little thing. But Silvia? Nope. Poor kid, she's getting cheated, her baby book is going to be empty at this rate. Well, that is, if I ever get around to working on her baby book.

Silvia turns 1 next month. An entire year of special and wonderful first moments- that I haven't really tried very hard to preserve. Poor kid.

SO. Mom? Terry? Kurt? Anyone remember the date of Silvia's first steps? And maybe the date when her first tooth came in, too? Or when I gave her the first solid foods? Or when she started standing on her own?

Sheesh. See, this is why I'm not having any more kids. I can barely keep up with the two that I've got!

UPDATE:

Okay, I've gone back through the blog and my e-mails and I've just about dislocated my brain trying to remember, but I think I've done it. All Silvia's big first moments have been accounted for and recorded in her baby book, thank you very much. Maybe it's a silly thing to worry about, but Anna's book is so nice I don't want Silvia to look back at her own 10 years or more from now and think, "Gee, mine's all...empty. Thanks, Mom."

I know, I know, I'm crazy. I'm combating future guilt, I think that makes me certifiable. So be it.

Two girls, not so little anymore!