Memorial

Kurt, the girls and I would like to send out some comforting thoughts and deep sympathy to the family of Don Harlow, an old and dear friend of our family. Among other things, he and his wife, Angie, were probably my parents' first couple-with-kids friends from before I was born. My brothers, Val and John, used to play with their two oldest children, Gwen and Sybil. I have remained in casual contact with Don and his youngest daughter, Esther, on and off for years. Their family is always warmly remembered.

He passed away this past weekend after a long illness, was a wonderful man and will be missed.

If you knew him or would like to sign the guestbook for his wife, click here.

Frankenstein's Baby

From yesterday to today, Silvia has transformed from a crawling baby who takes a few steps sometimes to a walking toddler who occasionally crawls.

She walks, oh yes, she walks. With knees stiff and locked, she lurches forward, eyes bright, mouth hanging open in excited concentration. Her arms extend forward and high, reaching out, hands clawed and grasping. Guttural sounds issue from her throat as she approaches her goal. She is...

Frankenstein's Baby. She's alive! ALIVE!!!

Kiss Kiss

Silvia gives kisses. It's pretty much the cutest thing ever this week. We were all sitting on the floor playing this morning. Kurt and Silvia were cuddling and he said to her, "Can I have a kiss?" and she looked right at him, smiled and leaned in to his cheek with her lips parted making a little, "Aaah" noise. Adorable!

We thought it was just a fluke, but then I held her and asked for a kiss and she did the same thing!

She also says the baby version of, "All done!" when she's ready to get out of her high chair. She'll raise both hands, palms up and shrug, then say, "Aaaaa-daaa".

And the walking? The walking is, literally, on the move. She's taking several steps at a time now, all through the day, just because she can.

She'll be 1 in about 2 weeks, I'm not sure how it happened, but I think, I hope, we're ready.

Bye-bye, TV

Well, I finally totally lost it with Anna's TV obsession yesterday, and it's now off. OFF. I'm not sure what is going to have to happen for me to turn it back on.

She's gotten so whiny and demanding and rude about it, always demanding her shows, freaking out every single time that I turn it off, always insisting on more. And it's creepy, too, she'll just lay there on the couch all zoned out, like her brain has left the building. Freaks me out.

We weren't allowing her to even watching that much, maybe 3 shows throughout the day, that's it. But all day every day has been turning into a big struggle about the television; when was she going to get to watch, what did she have to do in order to watch, how long could she get us to let her watch, a tantrum if anyone ever so much as talked about watching something that wasn't her kid show. Ick. The whole situation was making every day into a long TV-whine-fest.

Last night I had turned on a half-hour show so I could make dinner and when it was over, I went to turn it off. Anna flipped out, yelling at me, "NO! You DO NOT turn it off! It's MINE! NONONO! You HAVE TO turn on my show!", and I totally lost it. I dragged her into time out, yelled at her, and then put myself in time out because I was so fed up and angry.
After I came downstairs again, Kurt was feeding the girls dinner.

And Anna was wolfing down her chicken because... Kurt told her she could watch a show after she finished all her dinner! (In his defense, he didn't know what the blow-up had been about...)

That was it for me. I said, "Sorry, no more shows. If she doesn't want to eat, then she doesn't have to eat, but there will be NO MORE SHOWS for the foreseeable future." Of course Anna completely went into hysterics. I cuddled her on my lap for a bit until she started to calm down, but I did not change my mind.

While I was putting her to bed, she was very sweet. We read nursery rhymes and rocked in the chair and then when she was calm, I talked to her about her behavior. I told her that whining and screaming and crying to get things is not polite and only upsets me. I said she has to use real words when she wants something and we went over the manners that she knows how to use. I told her that I will only be able to help her when she can calm herself down and use real words and manners to talk to me.

Anna really seemed to be listening and said, "Yes, momma, I'm sorry I was yelling, I know how to have good manners. I love you." I know that she probably forgot that as soon as she said it, but it was still so sweet!

So that was it for me. The only way to get through to her is to turn off the over-stimulating-mind-numbing television. I know she's also learned a lot of good things from her shows, but the negatives are totally outweighing the positives right now. Kurt and I talked about it and we've just decided that as long as the kids are awake, the TV will be off. Period. I even deleted her shows off Tivo this morning before she got out of bed. It's just not worth it right now.

This morning, we got up and she listed everything she wanted to watch as we walked downstairs, like she always does. And I said, "Sorry, Anna, the TV is broken and there will be no shows today. But we have lots of toys and music and stories, what would you like to do instead?". She pouted for a minute, then asked for her Kindermusik CD and has been dancing and playing all morning. Truly, those music class CD's are a lifesaver! She never gets tired of them, they're nice to listen to, even for me, and she dances and sings and really "interacts" with the music, which I love to see.

She has also been reading her stories and going through all her books that she hasn't been interested in for a long time. She's finally, a few weeks late, discovered the wonderful books she got for Christmas (Thank you, LisaLisa!). We've done some coloring and crafts, but she's also rediscovering playing by herself, which she used to love to do all the time.

And no whining, no fits, no tantrums. No demanding, rude, obnoxious little girl. While television is a nice distraction from time to time and certainly buys me a bit of peace during the day, it seems to be too closely tied to her bad behavior.

The trade-off is completely worth it for me!

The second child gets the short end of the stick

I'm looking all around and I absolutely cannot find anywhere the date of Silvia's first steps! Does anyone remember? It was December, I remember the MOMENT, but I didn't write it down. There's so much that I wrote down for Anna, every little thing. But Silvia? Nope. Poor kid, she's getting cheated, her baby book is going to be empty at this rate. Well, that is, if I ever get around to working on her baby book.

Silvia turns 1 next month. An entire year of special and wonderful first moments- that I haven't really tried very hard to preserve. Poor kid.

SO. Mom? Terry? Kurt? Anyone remember the date of Silvia's first steps? And maybe the date when her first tooth came in, too? Or when I gave her the first solid foods? Or when she started standing on her own?

Sheesh. See, this is why I'm not having any more kids. I can barely keep up with the two that I've got!

UPDATE:

Okay, I've gone back through the blog and my e-mails and I've just about dislocated my brain trying to remember, but I think I've done it. All Silvia's big first moments have been accounted for and recorded in her baby book, thank you very much. Maybe it's a silly thing to worry about, but Anna's book is so nice I don't want Silvia to look back at her own 10 years or more from now and think, "Gee, mine's all...empty. Thanks, Mom."

I know, I know, I'm crazy. I'm combating future guilt, I think that makes me certifiable. So be it.

Two girls, not so little anymore!

5 steps!

Okay, this is proof to me that Silvia really NEEDED special mommy-time all to herself.

She's been taking a step here and there for several weeks, actually took her first step just before Christmas (I think... sheesh, so sad that I don't know for sure!). But as far as walking goes, she just hasn't shown any interest, prefers to crawl all about and cruise along on the furniture.

But just now, we were sitting and playing in the living room and I stood her up, she gave me a big smile and walked towards me. She took 5 steps without falling and then gave me a big hug! Go, Silvia!

Anna's 1st Day of Preschool

Wow. Can it be? This is the end of a beginning, it feels like.

Anna started preschool this morning at a Lutheran Child Care Center about 5 minutes from our front door. It's a very nice school and she is in a small class with less than 10 other 3-4 year olds. She'll be going every three days a week from 8-12:30, which marks the longest time we've ever left her with strangers.

The transition this morning did not go well, but I wasn't really expecting it to. Anna has always been a very sensitive and high-strung kid, so to think that she'd skip off to play with a shed tear would have been nuts.

She cried. She screamed. I sat with her in the classroom for about 5 minutes and pointed out all the neat things and the other children gathered around to see what all the fuss was about. Then I stood up and her teacher, Miss Sarah, pried her off of me as she screamed, "Nononononono!" and then I headed for the door.

I admit completely that I was in tears myself by the time I made it to the hallway. It is really, really hard to see your kid desperate and terrified and wanting just YOU and have to walk away. But I did it.

As I got to my car I looked up and Anna was at the window, holding a toy pinwheel and in the arms of the teacher. She was waving bye-bye to me, so I smiled and waved and pretended that I was not about to completely lose it.

I really think this will be great for her. She is a very bright little girl and she's been getting bored with our standard daily routine, especially since it's cold and we can't get outside as much. I also think that having to work out disputes with other kids her age under a neutral and objective authority figure will be VERY good for her. And it'll be fun and challenging and educational and really set her on the right path for starting school in a few years.

I'm also looking forward to the quality time I'll get to have alone with Silvia while Anna is in school, that'll be really nice to be able to just give her some focused attention for once! And then I'll blink, and Silvia will be starting preschool and I'll be at loose ends and...

then what?

Finally! Pictures from Auntie Mo's Christmas

http://picasaweb.google.com/schwartzmeg/ChristmasInMaryland2007