Bye-bye, TV

Well, I finally totally lost it with Anna's TV obsession yesterday, and it's now off. OFF. I'm not sure what is going to have to happen for me to turn it back on.

She's gotten so whiny and demanding and rude about it, always demanding her shows, freaking out every single time that I turn it off, always insisting on more. And it's creepy, too, she'll just lay there on the couch all zoned out, like her brain has left the building. Freaks me out.

We weren't allowing her to even watching that much, maybe 3 shows throughout the day, that's it. But all day every day has been turning into a big struggle about the television; when was she going to get to watch, what did she have to do in order to watch, how long could she get us to let her watch, a tantrum if anyone ever so much as talked about watching something that wasn't her kid show. Ick. The whole situation was making every day into a long TV-whine-fest.

Last night I had turned on a half-hour show so I could make dinner and when it was over, I went to turn it off. Anna flipped out, yelling at me, "NO! You DO NOT turn it off! It's MINE! NONONO! You HAVE TO turn on my show!", and I totally lost it. I dragged her into time out, yelled at her, and then put myself in time out because I was so fed up and angry.
After I came downstairs again, Kurt was feeding the girls dinner.

And Anna was wolfing down her chicken because... Kurt told her she could watch a show after she finished all her dinner! (In his defense, he didn't know what the blow-up had been about...)

That was it for me. I said, "Sorry, no more shows. If she doesn't want to eat, then she doesn't have to eat, but there will be NO MORE SHOWS for the foreseeable future." Of course Anna completely went into hysterics. I cuddled her on my lap for a bit until she started to calm down, but I did not change my mind.

While I was putting her to bed, she was very sweet. We read nursery rhymes and rocked in the chair and then when she was calm, I talked to her about her behavior. I told her that whining and screaming and crying to get things is not polite and only upsets me. I said she has to use real words when she wants something and we went over the manners that she knows how to use. I told her that I will only be able to help her when she can calm herself down and use real words and manners to talk to me.

Anna really seemed to be listening and said, "Yes, momma, I'm sorry I was yelling, I know how to have good manners. I love you." I know that she probably forgot that as soon as she said it, but it was still so sweet!

So that was it for me. The only way to get through to her is to turn off the over-stimulating-mind-numbing television. I know she's also learned a lot of good things from her shows, but the negatives are totally outweighing the positives right now. Kurt and I talked about it and we've just decided that as long as the kids are awake, the TV will be off. Period. I even deleted her shows off Tivo this morning before she got out of bed. It's just not worth it right now.

This morning, we got up and she listed everything she wanted to watch as we walked downstairs, like she always does. And I said, "Sorry, Anna, the TV is broken and there will be no shows today. But we have lots of toys and music and stories, what would you like to do instead?". She pouted for a minute, then asked for her Kindermusik CD and has been dancing and playing all morning. Truly, those music class CD's are a lifesaver! She never gets tired of them, they're nice to listen to, even for me, and she dances and sings and really "interacts" with the music, which I love to see.

She has also been reading her stories and going through all her books that she hasn't been interested in for a long time. She's finally, a few weeks late, discovered the wonderful books she got for Christmas (Thank you, LisaLisa!). We've done some coloring and crafts, but she's also rediscovering playing by herself, which she used to love to do all the time.

And no whining, no fits, no tantrums. No demanding, rude, obnoxious little girl. While television is a nice distraction from time to time and certainly buys me a bit of peace during the day, it seems to be too closely tied to her bad behavior.

The trade-off is completely worth it for me!